nervous, nervous

Maybe I fall to easily into daydreams?

Still haven't heard back from farm manager lady and it's making me sink into a mini depression... she really didn't seem like the type to stand me up like this and it was her request to call me yesterday, and to ask me to start tomorrow. She hasn't returned my email and when I tried calling she didn't pick up... maybe there was a mother cow giving birth? I hope something exciting like that happened, and that her brother's friend didn't come around all of a sudden... that would be very un-exciting. I mean c'mon... I bought a book for a job! Not even for 'me' really this time, it was for someone else, to help someone else - and I don't ever let people get ahold of my books!

I can't help but feeling kind of stupid, too, my little sister keeps asking me every hour if 'that lady' has called yet and then not saying anything when I tell her no. My mom doesn't tell me what to do anymore about it, just to wait it out - not something I enjoy doing and I've already told Eric and Marissa and sort of posted it up on facebook - not going to help when the bad news comes crashing down. Ah, well, I could go back to my plans a month ago to practice model-making, I have month-old, bent from the sun-and-heat chipboard bending over my back seats and a whole Gilly Hicks bag full of balsa wood pieces just waiting to be part of a little model. I guess I just got my hopes up too high - as I always do - I just didn't think this one was going to let me down, I guess it was maybe too perfect?

- c