I started this blog last winter break. Back then it was called 'Oh joy... in Troy' - thoroughly enthused to be going back then, too, huh? Well, I'm not ready to give up my current title. I love being trapped in summer, and being trapped in the fall would be fine too, only for me it'll be trapped in architecture, which isn't as fun.
When I was younger fall and winter were my favorite seasons. I've always loved Halloween. All of the leaves, the pumpkin-y smelling candels and soaps that my mom buys, and just the general feeling that everything is changing at every moment of the day. Sure, this happens in the summer, too, but you don't see leaves falling to show the time passing by. I think I used to love the fall because I liked going back to school. I have always previously looked forward to it. I remember in high school thinking that I could be a lifelong student, by now those thoughts have changed. It's going to be really hard for me to see everyone in my grade at rpi finally escaping. I really wish right now architecture was four years also, I mean in one semester we go through more stress and all-nighters than everyone else in the school goes through over their whole time at rpi.
I remember Saunder's semester sophomore year - I thought that getting one hour of sleep a night during the week was pretty good... no wonder all-nighters now hurt me so much. I guess there are downsides to being an archie during the spring semester as well, I've always wanted to be in the breast cancer walk that everyone at school goes to. I've wanted to walk around or sit out for a day in the spring weather, but there's absolutely no time for a breather in this major. I understand that architects live outside of culture, which is a good thing it forces architecture to not fall to fads, or passing trends, but living so far out of culture that we ruin our bodies is not fair.
I want to go apple picking with my family in the fall. I want to go to my uncle's wedding. I want to relax and maybe even look at grad schools during Thanksgiving break. I want to go to interviews at firms that I'm interested in. All of these things - right now and overall - are more important to me than architecture, but somehow when I'm consumed in the work I lose sight of what really matters. I've been thinking lately - as horrible as this might sound - that one way for me to really succeed this semester is to just not take myself so seriously as an architect. The more I think I deserve the attention and respect of being a good student, the more I'm going to expect it from the professors and my classmates. I just have to keep strong in my real interests like yoga, horseback riding, and keep my 'eye on the prize' just graduating and joining a historic preservation team.
The more I can follow what I like and work steadily every day, and the more I don't care what the professors do/say/think about me I think the easier it will be to get by this semester. I know that I must have some level of respect... I don't believe DBell would let me TA for him so many times without having some sort of confidence in me. I also don't think Demitrios would email me back so many times about working for him, too, unless he really felt like he would hire me. Sometimes I can convince myself that people are just doing these things out of courtesy, but I think for these few times I can give myself a pat on the back and believe that they do like me. I know as far as having an 'in' with these archie professors, I need to be more social and outgoing, like more willing to go out to the bars and not rush back to go to sleep or hang out with Eric. I should have done this when I was in Italy, but my homesickness hits me hard and I always want to go back. Well, these are my thoughts for now. Thoughts as the weather is changing and I have to build up a big old shell to protect myself for the onslaught that will be this semester.
- c
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