Still bored... it's unbelievable how down I am. Is it being stuck inside all day? Sitting on the same couch? Looking at the same computer? Am I depressed about not having enough work? Belonging to the same routine? I don't understand what's the matter with me. I keep getting headaches every evening, and accomplishing barely anything. I'm nervous and embarrassed about what I've produced to show for tomorrow, I'm somehow feeling guilty for getting into the architecture elective that I want, and I'm debating whether or not to join the equestrian team again. I know I want to get out of these routines, but somehow I hold myself back. I'm also getting more anxious about not having a finished portfolio to show, and what I do have... not being anything too impressive. And what are some positives? I am confident in my resume - it's pretty nice, I'm in a good studio with a great professor, I'm signed up for classes I wanted to take... soooo why am I so unhappy?
I really hope something turns around... and for the better. I also hope I don't completely embarrass myself in front of everyone in studio tomorrow.
- c
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