Saturday, February 12, 2011

music, beer, america

I can't believe we're already approaching the fourth week of the semester! In studio my idea is still only a tiny, cloudy dream deep in my mind... my drawings only shades of what it should evolve to be... in only three weeks. In my other classes its also been a slow start... I've nothing for Anthropology or Titus's class but go to class and listen, I've scraped the surface for Ecology, and done what I'm told in Sensory. Having this little to do, makes me sooo inefficient. It's like I need to be extremely busy to have any genius at all. I feel especially bad for DBell who probably feels like he's wasting his time on a bunch of useless students who do the bare minimum. Half of our studio are people who just got done with DD and REFUSE to do anything and the other half are 3rd years who mostly suck.

At least I feel like I've gotten over my boredom and depression that carried on from winterbreak into the onset of this semester. I don't know where it came from... but my haunch is working for the firm. I'd have days from 8 to 6 and then get home, barely have enough energy to eat, sit in front of the tv unable to move, and then just pass out... only to wake up again at 6.30. I don't think 9 to 5's in offices are any good and I don't understand why this working-model hasn't been challenged or changed... it's completely depressing! Especially in architecture... or at least at this firm... all we do is sit, cad monkeys in front of the computer screen all day. It makes me think of what Titus said, how the computer was meant to make things quicker and easier... architecture included... but look at us. Architects don't spend less time in the office because of the computer, if anything it makes learning this subject more difficult than it could be, and opens us up to a plethora of chances for mistakes and misreading. Who thinks about what they are drawing when they make lines in split seconds on the computer? I know I don't a lot of the time... a lot of the time it's just sitting there thinking about some measurement and some angle that things are moving at, not what those things mean to be unfolding in space, or what they are doing to delineate spaces. Drawing is much more attune to figuring out architecture, I honestly don't know how people can understand their work if they are only working in Rhino, Maya, or other computer programs without first sketching something out. Even through sketching it's hard to see what you are trying to flesh out, but at least when you draw a line you are thinking about many more things at once, you hand can feel as though it is building up walls, creating barriers, and enclosing envelopes of space... you don't get this same sort of knowing-connection with the computer. But I'm not trying to completely put-down the computer, that would just be stupid. It offers a lot in the development and materialization of an idea, just not in the forming and fleshing-out of one.

So what more with this life? I start horseback riding [officially] on Tuesday morning, I'm nervous but at the same time I can't wait. I hope Lisa is a good instructor and I also hope I don't completely embarrass myself... it has been over two years after-all.

All I want to do right now is travel. I really wish I went away on the India trip... that I was out exploring new places and new people. It gets pretty boring here, taking the same paths into and out of campus as I have for so many years... repeating the same acts of boredom and repetition in going to classes. It would have been a much smarter idea to have gone to India. Too bad thesis has to be done here, I don't want to continue living in Troy/ Albany I'm yearning to get out somewhere else, start off new and fresh and break out of all my habits. I just hope a job or after graduation something will get me out of this routine.

- c

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