I feel like I haven't been this depressed in a while. There is very little to be done at school... or so I've convinced myself that this is the case. I could be reading, could be sketching... doing something, but instead I sit in the apartment, bored to death and wishing I were motivated to get something done. For some reason none of my classes have really caught my inspiration, I know that Sensory Culture is everything that's right up my alley but I barely read the reading in its entirety... I haven't even looked into what's next and I definitely haven't gotten into any writing rants lately. This blog has been left to the abandoned wayside... everything in my life has seemed to just come to a halt.
Usually I'm ontop of things, deeply involved with my work and completely enthralled by this or that topic. At the beginning of this semester I thought it was "dance" that was going to take me up into a whirlwind of emotion and research... it's connected to music, but has the additional rich spatial complexities that aren't always at the forefront of the musical experience. I am still interested in understanding space in dance... but it hasn't trapped me like other things in my life.
I just can't pin it down... what has made me become like this? What has drained the enthusiasm and drive from me? I am typically concerned about my job prospects for the future... and maybe it's the multiple options that I currently have open to me... what with Grimshaw and Envision still on the table... it seems like something I shouldn't have to worry about... but deep down I know nothing is certain... especially not after the email I just sent Daria basically demanding to see the gas money they promised me... from two months ago. I know I'm right in asking for this, but I could also be losing my position... then again I'm not sure I really care... it's a crappy firm that puts down the school I go to, treats my friends bad, and acts as though LEED is the most interesting thing on the planet.... which it's definitely not.
Ahh, I hope this semester changes for the better... and soon.
- c
Usually I'm ontop of things, deeply involved with my work and completely enthralled by this or that topic. At the beginning of this semester I thought it was "dance" that was going to take me up into a whirlwind of emotion and research... it's connected to music, but has the additional rich spatial complexities that aren't always at the forefront of the musical experience. I am still interested in understanding space in dance... but it hasn't trapped me like other things in my life.
I just can't pin it down... what has made me become like this? What has drained the enthusiasm and drive from me? I am typically concerned about my job prospects for the future... and maybe it's the multiple options that I currently have open to me... what with Grimshaw and Envision still on the table... it seems like something I shouldn't have to worry about... but deep down I know nothing is certain... especially not after the email I just sent Daria basically demanding to see the gas money they promised me... from two months ago. I know I'm right in asking for this, but I could also be losing my position... then again I'm not sure I really care... it's a crappy firm that puts down the school I go to, treats my friends bad, and acts as though LEED is the most interesting thing on the planet.... which it's definitely not.
Ahh, I hope this semester changes for the better... and soon.
- c
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