My Worst Trait :: Indecision

Wayyy back in high school my ap art teacher - the hilarious and good-natured Mr. Hanley probably told me the best piece of slightly sarcastic realism that I have heard in my life - that my worst trait, the thing that will bring me the most trouble in my life... is my indecision.

I couldn't agree with him more. I guess watching people work artistically brings a closer look into the real inner-workings of that person - maybe not the things they produce - but the way they work and the techniques they use - I think seeing these traits brings out the honest person behind the pen, computer, paintbrush etc.

So in this post I just wanted to quickly delineate the "things I have wanted to do with my life" since I was young... until now. This probably won't include all those late-night "what ifs..." but some of them were probably started from thoughts like that.


Littlest Christianna:
- a horse
- a vet
- a spy

High School Christianna:
- physicist
- radiologist
- chemistry teacher
- peace corps volunteer

Summer-after-Senior-Year Christianna:
- hs art teacher
- artist
- art store owner/framing
- architect

After-Saunders-Studio Christianna: [don't laugh]
- marine biologist
- illustrator
- wedding planner
- flower store owner
- book store owner
- geologist
- landscape architect
- chef


Okay... hope that was a joyful round of laughing for whoever read that... yes. Basically I wanted to do ANYTHING BESIDES architecture ... save a smallll incy-weency bit of hope [ aka "landscape architect" ] for the sad wallet I will have after RPI. Maybe after thinking about this progession I will come upon some grand scheme for the rest of my life! But as of right now... the thing I struggle with everyday is really wondering what the hell I'm going to do for a living. I feel like I try really hard at architecture, but I always seem to come up short... everyone else's projects are always soooo interesting and thought-provoking and I feel like mine begin by being interesting to me and somehow... somewhere along the way they sadly fall apart... piece by piece... until it's something no one really has interest in anymore and I get torn apart in the reviews. It's like being a sphinx - let me tell you - to have to come back and show your face after so much disappointment. And at least for me - it's not just hurting me right now - telling me right now I'm a dummy for being in this field of study... but it's more like a kick in the face to future-me... maybe telling me not being good in fun old architecture school will turn me into the grumpy "Angela" of my respected office... hmpf.

Help and/or advice at this time is greatly appreciated...

- c