Philosophy sounds like it will be interesting - it will definitely be a thinking class, but maybe putting my crazy thinking-mind into something like this will distract it from becoming completely muddied-up in the world of architecture. We also have a number of essays to do, which will probably be a lot when my other work piles up, but myabe it could end up being a way to express some feelings or opinions I have on the topics we discuss in class [I'm just scared Eric's going to be 100 billion times better than me and I'll feel like a loser lol].
We started today by discussing "logic" which I like to learn - my professor brought up learning the geometry proofs - like what we learned in high school - those were my favorite things to do! I think I enjoy philosophy because it is reasoning just like in math, but in this subject I don't mess up numbers. It is a little intimidating though - being one of three girls in the class and it filled with really smart mathematicians and engineers who could outshine me in four milliseconds thinking through these problems like they do math and engineering problems... whereas I'll be toying around in the back with some drawing that makes about 20% sense and the rest is messed up because I'll have drawn it wrong haha.
Studio was frightening - just for the fact that I'm back to the Greene Building - the most uncomfortable place on earth... and I'm super-nervous about what vertical I'll be put into and what the professors will say to make me go home and cry about this semester. I choose Oatman as my first choice because at least for me - he's the least intimidating and actually the most interesting studio presentation that I heard. I have really wanted to do an installation piece and although I don't know anything about designing for sound - learning it from Oatman will probably be the best for me because he teaches by "doing" and drawing rather than researching and suddenly producing designs from abstract data. That's not to say the project will be lacking in abstractness - I'm sure it will be very abstract... especially when dealing with a material like sound.
I also probably looked like a dork to him today because I tried to be really friendly to him just incase I get into the studio so that for once I can have a good relationship with one of my professors and maybe build a trust with someone in this school that I can go to in times of doubt or when I need advice. DBell - he's my advisor - but he is really intimidating. Krueger is also scary to me because he knows sooooo much and I feel like being in his studio would just be a constant struggle with him turning me down and correcting me with his superior knowledge [which is probably what I "should" be doing because I could be learning the hard way... but after being so disappointed from my final presentation/grade in Rome and also the same for Gustavo's studio/ him letting me down by not guiding me and then leaving me to crash and burn... I just want an honest good semester.... oye!].
I just read the syllabus for "Building Systems and Environment" which is basically the follow-up course to EES and I'm .... surprise, surprise.... nervous for this thing, too. We have to work in partners... which means stress upon having to find people to work with and also finding ways to work with them/ finding ways for me to communicate my ideas [which no one really understands cuz I suck at talking]. And then the nervouness of people not understanding me and the frustration that always insues. All I can hope for is to be awake and to attend this class so I can get through.
Tomorrow I have that class "BSE" [? - maybe thats what it'll be called?] and then the writing elective I signed up for which I am not yet sold on if it will be "fun" or not. This will definitely add to my essay-milage for the semester, but I had really wanted to get into a creative writing class. I haven't recieved the syllabus yet for this course, but its more geared at writing in a classroom setting and for learning how to get your ideas across. I just hope there's some creativity involved so I can have a little bit of freedom in my work.
Wish me luck tomorrow [crossing my fingers for a good studio selection!!
-c
p.s. already day 1 and there's a million things on my mindddd ahhhh... sooo loong breakkk : [
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