Road Race Weekend

This weekend was soooo much fun! Eric ran the LHRR a 10k in the little New England town next to his and did a really great job. Normally the town is dead quiet I don't think I've seen more than one person with a dog ever walking through it at a time... but today it was filled with more people than I had even seen at the Freihofer's Run that I used to race in in Albany. There were over 1500 runners... and that's a lot for a little Connecticut town! We also had a great weekend in general... went to a bar and had a good time with his high school friends... listened to some hilarious karaoke... and had 80degrees-hot wine [from a Mexican bar]... which was interesting. I also liked that his enthusiasm for running got me walking/ jogging more than I have been... hahah... yea architecture = you will ultimately suck entirely at working out... but this has changed! Even the depressing and rainy day wasn't a total loss... we went and saw the movie Get Him to the Greek! with Russel Brand which was super funny - as its to be expected... I think I just love it in CT in general. It's quiet and pretty and you don't have to drive past ugly car dealerships no matter where you want to go [cough cough Cohoes... yuck]. Instead there's tons of trees and old New England farmhouses.. all from the 1770s & some earlier... it's really beautiful.... [and trust me I love the cities, too I've always seen myself living in Boston or NY after graduation... but even though I used to diss this whole state it's really not as bad in the area where Eric lives.... it's really nice... I think the only thing that's missing are the people I know/ could hang out with!].

A pretty path in the woods anddd the whoooolee little town [big compared to] the even smalllerrrr town where Eric lives!

It only really sucks facing the ride back... when all my panic starts setting back in... worrying about jobs and majors and stupid Troy... but I guess that's what has to happen when you return back to reality hahaha. Ahhh I can only hope for some answers this week! Hopefully I'll be getting some form of a parttime gig and my meeting about the career aptitude test I took is happening Wednesday... and I'm extremely interested for thatttt conversation. It sucks sooo much going through college and feeling like you need to "know" things... jeesh we all only just got out of followbrainwashingclassesinhighschool to make a decision to change the rest of your life/ finances and in four short years you're spat out to survive. Maybe my uncertainty has arisen from this fear... being thrown into the "real-world" and somehow completely failing. Architecture has just turned my world so upside down... I mean it doesn't line up in this school who's "good" or who's "bad" there is just a bunch of grey and a few people who speckle out with some form of 'fame' each semester.... but ahhh I just don't want to caaaare anymore if I go back to this kind of studying. I'm soooo afraid of DD I just want to have a 'normal' life, experience a semester without stressing myself to tears literally every night and getting so down on myself I have headaches for weeks and fear all of my classmates for their comments/looks/condescending superiority. I mean it could be going from high school subjectivity to college... competing with people who I could have smoked in high school in the sciences, math, english... but falling short when it comes to this strange thing 'design' and 'bullshitting everything you do'. Ugh I know that we all do it at times... we all have to bullshit our stuff at times in architecture... but seeing some of the people who literally bullshit their way through and do reallllyyy well... ahhh it's super disheartening and discouraging, not something/somepeople that I really feel like competing with. But okay, enough of the complaints, this is supposed to have been about having a great weekend in CT and being homesick for there instead of here...

-c