Tuesday, January 4, 2011

things to ponder

I think I've made a good new goal for myself... I think. I want a job that doesn't plaster me behind a computer all day. So I've thought about it here & there... and so... there's anthropology/archaeology which could be really fun because of all the travel, there's also writing - something I've always loved, and finally teaching - being a professor which even of the above two choices [and maybe even architecture] could work.

It's amazing how draining a 9 to 5 can be... and not to mention how ultimately boring. I think working at Jenny Craig and being a camp counselor were probably at least a million times more exciting than what I'm sitting through now. This whole idea of rotting away in some rickety chair, sunken behind autocad really scares the shit out of me. I do have a future vision for myself... I understand that right now I might be looking forward to living in Boston or Cape Cod... and that might change... it's probably likely to change. But if I have the chance to change my day-to-day situation, my conversations, and my ability to walk around... I'm going to go for it now. I don't want to get out of undergrad and do this sort of thing for five years before I am regretting never stepping out of this box. Maybe I should have known long ago this was going to happen when I chose architecture... but actually architecture school is probably one of the best decisions I've made. It's made me a hard worker, a tough problem solver, to be creative, artistic, curious, and dedicated to something - even if it's not my personal calling. I have to be convinced that taking these four years at rpi wasn't a waste... I mean I don't think it has been. I went to a tough school, was enrolled in probably the most mentally and physically challenging program and now I can go on to face things in a completely different light from other people. I got to go through this experience with an awesome class that all of my professors adore, and I've upheld a good standing in the class. I had the opportunity to travel to Rome, where my interest in the ancient world and walking for eight hours a day came about. I've excelled in the construction drawings classes, with lessons that are at the true heart of architecture. And furthermore, I've excelled as a one-person team in DD... the toughest studio and most respected class the school has to offer... the class that firms hiring rpi students look at when they evaluate future candidates for hire. All of these things I've gotten in the bag because I chose to challenge myself at rpi. Even when I feel belittled because of everything that goes on day-to-day in studio, even when I feel behind because my graphic skills aren't as far ahead of everyone as they used to be, even when I feel like my style is changing, my preferences aren't what they used to be and I don't know what to do, how to redefine myself... at least I've taken this leap and gone through these four tough years.

So, my third thought for this entry was supposed to be about what my 'ideal' grad school experience would be, but I'm getting sort of drained from the whole nine-hour day thing [ I go into work at 8, so technically its an 8 to 5 for me right now ]. Basically I've been thinking that for grad school somewhere like BU might be perfect for me. I can keep my hopes up and wish for Harvard, but even with distinction on my diploma it's not going to be guaranteed that they'll want me. What's more is the coursework might be something I don't want to repeat after going through architecture school and wasting myself senior year of high school. I also like that BU is a big school with tons of departments, awesome study abroad programs, [it's in Boston... even though Harvard is, too... it's still a plus], and I could hopefully meet some decent people [even though I'm sure I could run with the conversation at Harvard]. So all-in-all I want to be in a great place, with fun people, to have work but not drown in it, and maybe begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel for a job and a future I would be comfortable in.

Ahh, okay I'm going to stop for now I'm not even paying attention to this and my back is sore... and really this is just more looking at a computer. Enough is enough!

- c

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