funny how things turn out

Funny how I had planned all week long to go back to Troy today and begin all the work due Monday... and instead I stayed home, slept til noon, went shopping with Mom and Grandma, bought coffee [ yet again ], worked on my portfolio [ yet again ], and basically got nowhere on either DD or Structures. Even my mom made a comment today about how I should be working on my DD project... and she doesn't even know the half of it. Sooo I did spend about twenty minutes copying over some lines to begin an elevation... but really I didn't do very much.... it'll be fun to see how I feel tomorrow at about this time...

In other interesting news, I was briefly staring over my computer screen at the shows my dad was watching today... one of them being a history channel special on the builders of ancient Greece + Mycenae - topics that the archaeology book I bought over the summer covers intensively... and so I started talking to him and my mom about being interested in archaeology as a graduate course of study and my dad seemed to be more interested in that than any form of architecture I've brought up [ he really is a history buff ]. And it would be interesting to learn and travel to places all around the world... I mean there should [ technically ] be no place leftout when it comes to searching for ancient ruins... people have been everywhere for thousands of years... and those places that are left unexplored now could reap some of the biggest finds. I think one of my biggest fears about pursuing archaeology is that those people who've studied history as undergrads would be lightyears ahead of me on the subject matter covered in grad school. Not to mention I'm not the keenest mathematician anymore... and that would probably show on my GRE scores. But all nervousness aside, I probably would make a good archaeologist... it would be fun if I was actually involved in the digs as a student... and then as you get older - from what I've read - you usually go into academia and write about excursions that you set up through institutions/ your own funds - and really hands-on work andd writing?!?! That's really stuff that I'm good at. Maybe I could even beat-out some of those young history geniuses with my background knowledge of building... I would go into studying historical structures anyway.

I think it's so hard for everyone I know to make a decision for grad school right now, because none of us have had work experience in our given bachelors field of study. Eric is worrying himself sick about grad school and phD programs, but I know that no matter what he chooses he'll find people and things that he likes... I think it's just killing him that he really doesn't know what the real world is going to be like. I think I used to worry about this alot when I wanted to change out of architecture... but I've just come to realize that what happens in the future is kind of out of my control, and even if I don't like the first place I go to, there will be opportunities for change. I think it just puts us all in this state of confusion that we haven't held jobs in our majors, maybe we won't for the first few years we are out of school... and then what? Will we still have interest in our field of study? Will I still want to be a part of an architecture firm? Or will I look back on all that time I spent waiting to find a job... and wish I'd spent that time studying/ searching for something different? Being a young, college-person in America right now really sucks. I guess seeing my parents being "okay" now gives me some hope... but we are kind of plumitting as a nation right now... and more so than when they were young. Maybe all this bent-up frustrations and time spent waiting will make us all graduate and become super-humans. Maybe all of our anger and confusion will help us surge ahead of the Chinese and rich Eastern countries in our given fields, just because we've waited for so long to express ourselves.... I mean that would be a positive way to look at our situations now.

Ahh, I still can't believe it's back to school tomorrow and in just a day I'll be having another review. Then it's a week sprint til all the famous, "rockstar" jury members come in to give us the verdict on our [ hopefully ] finished designs.... ohhh boy.... there is sooo much stress right now. I guess I'll go and settle-down with some more Frampton reading... his in-depth monotony is actually soothing and comforting... it helps me forget about the real-life threats studio poses to my heart-rate and sanity.

- c

p.s. oh - thought I should also comment how interesting it is that I have accumulated 12 posts in the month of November whereas there's been one slow post each month since the summertime... funny how all 12 of these posts were written in a matter of four days... pretty easy to tell what good I do with my time...

This entry is because I need to reassure myself...

This entry is just because I need to reassure myself of the interests I can keep with my project... even though I feel as if it goes down the drain with almost every decision James makes about it... there are some things that I do find to be unique and respectable.

- I like how it is a conglomeration of spaces; it's spatially rich and the overlapping/ fuzzy boundaries between spaces and systems is actually interesting and beautiful - I like that it's not really complete or figured out [ although I will probably regret saying that in a matter of days... ] 

- even though I didn't before... I like the green roof idea and integrating green 'terraces' above the city at different heights and distances from the building core... I guess this is sort of an extension of the original 'ziggurat' idea... and I guess the ancients had something right meshing together the ground plane at such high levels with infrastructure and commerce

- I have somewhat come to like the massy-ness of the building... I guess if we hadn't "gone big" the whole strong zig-zag of the building might have been weak overall. I think just the shear mass of the thing makes us appear to be balls-y and "confrontational" from the start [ yea... TMical called my writing 'confrontational' this semester... I guess all my work is becoming this way lately... sort of a reaction against James being in my life - and being in my life too much... ]

- I like how our building isn't caught-up on super-fussy things like facades and funny floor designs like Steve & Kyle's or even Marissa & Elliots [ although I do like the M & E ceiling concept... it reminds me of an inverted version of my facade system for... ironically M&E w/ Dimitrius ] - I know that with the model we will have to choose nice materials and project to the jury that we have planned for integrating quality materials in the design... grrr - even though James refuses my suggestions and tends to like really cheesey materials... whatever, not something I can keep wasting energy on... he's just like that in general - cheesey and not of a good quality... okay, okay... so anyway yea... not getting caught-up on superficial, Dean-Douglis-like excessive-patterning of surfaces... just going for good, quality material adjacencies 

Sooo, yea after that small rant in the last paragraph I wasted alot of energy in trying to think of more things that I like about this project. I think therein lies the problem... I waste so much energy being upset at what James forces me to say okay to that I don't have time to appreciate anything about our project. But it's really not fair that he won't let me give input into the project.... ESPECIALLY since I'm the one pulling allnighters to bring all the work into a presentable format. Sure, I can deal with not having control over the sole form... he did take into account a lot of my suggestions about that. BUT when he starts telling meeee what should go onto the facades of this building... he is bringing his weak opinions and bad taste into the wrong territory. I mean c'mon... who did Jefferson yell at three times in Italy to take off the goddamn, ugly-ass watermark background from all his presentations? ... yes, James. And who for materials & enclosures class... chooses a final project that basically avoids all material concerns and manifests its interest around a tilted pane of glass? ...yes, James did that, too. So how can I really sit back and let him tell me "no" to concrete when I KNOW it's a good choice for areas of our building? It really kills me. This is what I've waited all semester for and he's crushing it. He's probably the only person in the class who doesn't recognize me for the one thing I'm good at - wall sections and material choices... for those wall sections! UGH. Whatever... I just have to stand up there next to him and if we are criticized for choosing dumb materials I'll just stand there and not say anything like I did during the stupid curvy-wavy-column shit that we presented during the midterm... yea.... the thing we were criticized for .... and the thing I told him we SHOULDN'T do. AHHHHHH.... there is soooo much frustration that I have for him right now. Sure, he can do the whole form-manipulation thing... and I respect that a lot because it's something I see as superficial and not really architectural... anyone can shift around spaces and forms... what I think becomes interesting are the sections and stemming further from that the materials you select for those sections. Oye... I can't even express myself anymore.... he makes me so frustrated and I can't wait until I don't have to work with him anymore.

not excited to go back to RPI,

- c

to SHoP or not to shop...

Break is already ending? I've written more posts in the past day than I have in over two months and already this short breath of fresh air is over. I spent more than half my time wandering around malls and Target, another quarter either on my computer doing work or on my computer writing on here/ searching on amazon, and another quarter hanging out with my family. There hasn't even been time for friends on this short spree.

It's hard to start realising that I'm going to have to think about grad school or work soon and it's such a hard decision to make. Should I go for it? Take my GRE's? Should I pursue architecture in grad school? I think if I go straight onto grad school I will probably not be going for architecture. But what then? Am I just giving up my dream of working for a place like SHoP because I think they won't hire me? [they probably wouldn't either...] But that's not to say that I've lost interest in them... if I were to pursue architecture it would be because there are those kinds of people out there - real, family-oriented, fun, and great designers... there's no bullshit at SHoP, they're just freaking good. I feel like everyone in school was so surprised when they went to that firm... but visiting them just reassured me that they were designers I knew I liked... and have liked since I looked them up freshman year. It just sucks that everyone knows about them now... and knows how cool they are. There aren't many firms run like SHoP... at least not that I've come across. But then again, SHoP's probably like the MIT in my dream-world of places where I want to go. [I didn't get into MIT which is why I think the comparison will be pretty easy to make] Nope, instead I'll wear my heart out trying to get into SHoP, only to be disappointed and lead-on for a time, making me feel like a contender... then they'll drop me off the face of the earth and I'll be left with the place that's my last choice.... yea I could go on with this dreary story... the one that I live every day now at RPI, but at this point I've learned to live with it... I guess that's just what'll have to happen in real life. Only when I was back in high school I could still dream big for myself. Now that I'm in a mediocre college, doing an alright job - I'm not a 'five star student' or anything of that sort, I've never gotten recognition at even our own in-house shows - so I'll go on to work for an 'okay' firm and do 'alright' buildings that'll let me get by in life.... ugh. It's gunna suck. Alot.

Probably should stop thinking about such depressing things...

So, on the other hand... there's applying to grad school... which also means taking my GRE's. And I can have all of these high-hopes for going to Yale or Harvard or Columbia, but if I can't get a decent GRE score... who knows if I would even be in the running for going to places like those? Or what if I want to pursue university in England? Oxford might be tricked by a lucky GRE score, but they aren't going to be fooled by me when I flop at their tough interviewing process... I flopped interviewing at a pottery painting place this summer.. how bad is it going to be when I'm in front of a bunch of Oxford scholars who spit Nobel Peace Prizes out after their turkey dinners? Ah, and even then would I be good at archaeology? anthropology? Or would younger, smarter, English-born-and-bred history majors beat me to the punch every time?

I remember back in the BLD when Anthony was describing how he felt going into RPI. He said it was like he was wandering forward on a dark path... that he could see nothing in front of him. When I was waddling away, having a lazy summer after senior year, I felt the same way. Where was I going? Did it even matter? High school was so easy... I was in no way prepared for the challenges and choices RPI would bring. But I'm sort-of smarter now... maybe not mathematically anymore... but I can tell that RPI isn't really preparing me for the real world. It's probably not even preparing me all that well for Harvard or Yale, so now more than ever I feel like I've already started on a new dark pathway into the unknown.... [and I'm not even a fifth-year yet.... it's not even summer...]. I guess looking back at the whole MIT situation I can live with not going there now... I might have been more proud of myself, walking off with an MIT degree... but at least I have my RPI friends that keep me grounded in Troy. But thinking about it.... even last summer I wanted to transfer out. I wanted to quit architecture and do something different every summer since I've been at RPI. What does that mean for me professionally? Or what would that mean for me when I apply to grad school and things get even more on that brink of "I've decided what to do with my life"? I think it's just making that decision that will haunt me and chase me forever. Not the decision itself... or it's repercussions... I'll live with those like I'm living with my choices now.... but maybe now's that time when I really step-up and go after what I want in my life? Did I do that for MIT? Can I possibly do more right now?

- c

excessive amounts of research...

The best place to find examples of artist's statements fast is the Internet.

Take a look at:
* gallery websites - and statements made by the artist describing their work for an exhibition
* 'about the artist' on artists blogs
* artists' websites - where it might be found under a number of headings such as 'About the Artist', Bio, Work etc

If you've got time, collect exhibition catalogues and find examples of statements which inspire you.

some advice

"If you can't tell what your work is all about, someone else will define it for you."

searching for a voice

Sooo... today I was thinking about how I need to develop my voice, especially when it comes to writing statements/ expressing myself on my resume. I did a little research and I'm slowly finding some notes that ring true in me, too... and just so I don't forget them I'm going to post some here.

These were some I found on a random website and for one reason or another I like them... each says something that I felt I could relate to... but I just have to find that niche or 'word' that will define what I want to say about myself.

Jonathan H. Dough - Artist Statement
My artwork takes a critical view of social, political and cultural issues. In my work, I deconstruct the American dream, fairy tales, nursery rhymes, and lullabies that are part of our childhood and adult culture. Having engaged subjects as diverse as the civil rights movement, southern rock music and modernist architecture, my work reproduces familiar visual signs, arranging them into new conceptually layered pieces.

Often times these themes are combined into installations that feature mundane domestic objects painted blue, juxtaposed with whimsical objects, and often embellished with stenciled text. The color blue establishes a dream-like surreal quality, suggests notions of calmness and safety, and formally unifies the disparate objects in each installation. The texts provide clues to content and interpretation.

While I use a variety of materials and processes in each project my methodology is consistent. Although there may not always be material similarities between the different projects they are linked by recurring formal concerns and through the subject matter. The subject matter of each body of work determines the materials and the forms of the work.

Each project often consists of multiple works, often in a range of different media, grouped around specific themes and meanings. During research and production new areas of interest arise and lead to the next body of work.

---

Millie Wilson - Artist Statement
I think of my installations as unfinished inventories of fragments: objects, drawings, paintings, photographs, and other inventions. They are improvisational sites in which the constructed and the ready-made are used to question our
making of the world through language and knowledge. My arrangements are schematic, inviting the viewer to move into a space of speculation. I rely on our desires for beauty, poetics and seduction.

The work thus far has used the frame of the museum to propose a secret history of modernity, and in the process, point to stereotypes of difference, which are hidden in plain sight. I have found the histories of surrealism and minimalism to be useful in the rearranging of received ideas. The objects I make are placed in the canon of modernist art, in hopes of making visible what is overlooked in the historicizing of the artist. This project has always been grounded in pleasure and aesthetics.

---

Molly Gordon - Artist Statement
Knitting is my key to the secret garden, my way down the rabbit hole, my looking glass.

Hand knitting started it. From the beginning the process of transforming string into cloth has struck me as magical. And, over the years, that magical process has had its way with me, leading me from hobby to art. Knitting fills me with a sense of accomplishment and integrity, and has proven a most amenable vehicle for translating inner vision to outer reality.

I knit from the inside out. Though I work quite deliberately, consciously employing both traditional and innovative techniques, my unconscious is the undisputed project manager.

The concrete, repetitive nature of this work frees my imagination and provides many opportunities for happy accident and grace to influence the finished product.

Recently I discovered some childhood drawings: simple, crayoned patchworks that resonate deeply with my fiber work. Inspired and invigorated by a renewed sense of continuity, and awed by the mystery of how creation occurs, I am now knitting richly varied fabrics exploring many patterns, textures and colors. Once knit, the fabrics are pieced to form an always new patchwork from which I make my garments and accessories.

---

Martin Langford - Artist Statement
I don't set out to produce art about one subject or another. I'm never without a sketchbook to hand so I am constantly drawing and sometimes the drawings are left in the sketchbook and other times they develop into more in-depth ideas and detailed images.

I didn't set out to be an environmental artist or to create artwork relating to social commentary but as my portfolio developed and people started to review my work, the descriptions started to emerge and I began to notice a pattern I hadn't intended but am now please with.

My work tends to focus on the environment, the evolution of man and his material wealth, the development of bigger and bigger cities, more and more people, cars and industry on the planet and the consequences this has on nature. Some reviews have labeled my work as 'black humour' but I always try to depict a positive message too - the persistence of nature in recapturing what once belonged to the earth.

At school, the only class I really paid any attention in was art. I simply wasn't interested in anything else and I think my obsession with depicting the monotony of the work place and work force started there...

Some of my subject matter is about people's daily routines and a comment on human nature. And since I've always been a fan of mafia films - a new strand of work seems to have emerged depicting a very 'human' and 'school playground' side to mob life.

None of it was intentional - it all developed and evolved over time. People always ask for my artist statement so I needed to do one but I've never liked to explain a certain piece of work - if you've made a picture and that's how you wanted it to be - hopefully it can speak for itself and whatever it says to the viewer - it's the right message because there isn't a wrong and a right message. Each person takes something a little different from the same picture and I'm happy with that.

Influences
My influences are first and foremost everything I see, feel and experience, but I've always loved comic books particularly work by Harvey Pekar and Robert Crumb. I love architecture particularly Art Deco. The artists I most admire are John Martin, a mezzotint artist from the 1800's, Winsor McCay a cartoonist and animator who created Little Nemo, Escher and Lyonel Feininger creator of Kinder Kids. I grew up watching films such as Metropolis, Flash Gordon, Star Wars and Brazil.




Here's some instruction-y thing I found... I think it's from a related site... but I really don't know this is all basically to prepare me for when I actually have time to figure these things out... it's funny, too, because I'm supposed to be getting up at 8 to go to Target with Mom [Black Friday shopping...]

1. Take five minutes and think about why you do what you do. How did you get into this work? How do you feel when work is going well? What are your favorite things about your work? Jot down short phrases that capture your thoughts. Don't worry about making sense or connections. The more you stir up at this point, the richer the stew.

2. Make a list of words and phrases that communicate your feelings about your work and your values. Include words you like, words that make you feel good, words that communicate your values or fascinations. Be loose. Be happy. Be real. Think of these as potential seasonings for your stew. You don't have to choose which ones to use just yet, so get them all out of the cupboard.

3. Answer these questions as simply as you can. Your answers are the meat and potatoes of your stew. Let them be raw and uncut for now.

1. What is your favorite tool? Why?
2. What is your favorite material? Why?
3. What do you like best about what you do?
4. What do you mean when you say that a piece has turned out really well?
5. What patterns emerge in your work? Is there a pattern in the way you select materials? In the way you use color, texture or light?
6. What do you do differently from the way you were taught? Why?
7. What is your favorite color? List three qualities of the color. Consider that these qualities apply to your work.

4. Look at your word list. Add new words suggested by your answers to the questions above.

5. Choose two key words from your word list. They can be related or entirely different. Look them up in a dictionary. Read all the definitions listed for your words. Copy the definitions, thinking about what notions they have in common. Look your words up in a Thesaurus. Read the entries related to your words. Are there any new words that should be added to your word list?

6. Write five sentences that tell the truth about your connection to your work. If you are stuck, start by filling in the blanks below.

When I work with__________ I am reminded that___________.

I begin a piece by______________.

I know a piece is done when__________________.

When my work is going well, I am filled with a sense of _____________.

When people see my work, I'd like them to ________________.

THE ARTIST'S STATEMENT

An artist's statement provides an insight into the artist's work and how it came about.

In short, an artist's statement is a brief summary of what an artist would say if they could explain their own work in person. It focuses on the present while providing as much information from the past as is relevant.

The best artist's statement is authentic and is written in the artist's own voice, although not always by the artist, and in language which is always simple and accessible.

additional books...

- The Function of Form

- The Function of Ornament

- Birkhauser Architecture: Unfolded Paper in Design, Art, Architecture and Industry

- 3xn : Mind Your Behaviour

thoughts before turkey

Today has pretty much been a much-needed waste. I slept for thirteen hours, didn't get any work done... searched for twenty books on amazon and got myself a five dollar Starbucks. I know that Friday I want to do work, but I've already made plans with at least three people... and even more if I've forgotten something... even though today I told myself I'd do work Friday... I guess this is why we have break - just to force us to stop doing things [it's working on me at least].

The one thing I did attempt today was to look over my portfolio again... which just makes me sad at this point - about how unfinished it is. Every old project I want to reopen and do over... and all of my [attempts at] diagrams make me want to cry. I have a couple good renders, some pretty nice photos and awesome drawn wall sections. But when it comes to diagramming my projects... firms will probably be sitting in a board room dying from laughter. I just need to figure out what is most important to show in each project, because right now they are all a hodge-podge of a confused mess. I really don't know what to do about the Torino project. It's such a good idea, with so many good concepts involved with it... but all of the diagrams are just terrible. I just don't know where to go back and edit the information so it is accurate to what we were doing then anddd also looks good/clear. I think that is a similar problem with my Rome project... it had sooo much potential, but due to time constraints alot of the basic ideas were rushed and not documented properly. Ahhh, okay... enough worrying about things like this for now. I need to just have confidence in what I have and then have the motivation to fix those things that need it... rather than just sitting here and wishing I had better work.

- c

all i want for Christmas is about forty books...

Sooo right now I'm too hyped up on coffee to do anything productive anddd I figure I should probably start keeping a list of the numerous books I want to obtain relatively soon... it will probably get lengthy as a warning.[also not in any sort of order...] 


- Carlo Scarpa, The Complete Works


- Audrey Hepburn, How to Be Lovely


- Building Anatomy 


- Eero Saarinen, 1910-1961: A Structural Expressionist [Taschen series]
- Eero Saarinen: An Architecture of Multiplicity **
     [ pretty much anything having to do with Saarinen.... ]

- Calatrava;
   - The Complete Works, Expanded Edition [2007]

- Paul Rudolph:
   - The Late Work *
   - Architectural Drawings
   - The Art and Architecture of Paul Rudolph
   - The Architecture of Paul Rudolph by Mohloy-Nagy ***
   [ really almost anything about P.R. ]

- The Atlas of Novel Tectonics

- Kenneth Frampton:
   - Studies in Tectonic Culture *
   - le Corbusier: Architect of the Twentieth Century
   - Architectural Regionalism
   - Building Brasilia

- Thames and Hudson World of Art [series]
   - The Art of Mesoamerica
   - Palladio and Palladianism



[ alright well that's about twenty sooo far... i'll have to look for the various ones written all over my sketchbooks to add more ideas... how ridiculous is this? i love books!!! ]


- c

Lincoln Center, New York City

Soo I didn't have time surrounding the NYC Trip to write anything about it, but I thought it pertinent to add Lincoln Center seeing as it is now my favorite place in the entire city. Just being there made me feel at home. I know the Julliard School is probably my mom's favorite place in the world, and just sitting in the cafe area made me feel like when I was little. All of the people were dressed like the ones who would fill up the Egg during all my sister's recitals. They are all snobby and stuck-up, but their attitude wasn't offensive to me... it was more familiar. It's probably this collection of people and places that I grew up in that makes me appreciate little things like sitting in a cafe with a bunch of dancing fanatics. Or what makes me appreciate motorcyclists, or video game designers... I've been exposed to many different kinds of people and towns, and atmospheres, and each unique kind of person or place reminds me of home.

I think it's also interesting for me to notice how dramatic and elevated the Lincoln Center architecture is. In many ways it's reminiscent of both the Empire State Plaza in Albany, and the SUNY Albany campus. The materials are similar and the starkness of it is also related. I also really liked how Lincoln Center is almost a carbon-copy of Michelangelo's Campindoglio in Rome... only a more stylized and abstracted version. The space the three big buildings create is amazing existentially, and really 'grounded' from an architectural point of view. Walking amongst the tall, concrete pillars made me feel like I was back in Albany, going to class at a campus most people find ugly, but that I find completely intriguing.

- c

Turkey Turkey Turkey

It's finally here - the calm before the storm. Looking back, I feel as though being in Martha's Vineyard was literally just a week ago. I saw a MV's newspaper lying on my bedroom floor and immediately I wanted to go there - return to the warm beaches and the rough sand. It's so amazing to think that even that warm summer town is dreary and grey right now. I can barely remember Halloween - seeing as it was caught-up in the rush of the midterm - that time all feels like a dream to me... a dream that cushions my summer and what is going on now. And Thanksgiving itself - I haven't experience this holiday in two years! I can hardly remember what time I need to show up for Equinox! Not to mention, I fear this holiday will feel more like a working panic, but instead of having heart attacks in studio, it'll be in my room or kitchen.  I also don't have a car... which means I can't get coffee... which is sorely preventing me from getting anything done.

I slept for thirteen hours last night... woke up in a haze... and now I just don't know what to do with myself. I think it's bold if I put off doing work, but deep inside I know I'll want to kill myself for it later. So part of the reason I'm even hurriedly writing right now is to put down in some form... a list of what I NEED to accomplish over this break:

1 - edited redlines/ new drawing set
2 - 8' wall section [printed]

3 - RISA

4 - some finalized form of a portfolio
      + three 8.5x11 layouts for the majority of firms...

5 - list of firms to apply to/ who to apply to/ email address/ rules etc...

I think that's a good enough list for now... as for non-necessities... there's of course:

- I will be raiding Christmas Tree Shops
- probably also American Eagle
- maybe/ probably getting Starbucks everyday
- walking Whisp at the Crossings and hoping he doesn't eat a little baby dog
- proly won't have time for much else...



- c

Small Update

It's the DD New York City Trip!

- c


[ i guess this counts for my once-a-month "i'm alive" blog entry ]