I'm not really one for taking back things that I've said, despite the fact that I've taken to speaking without thinking first lately... but anyway I do feel kind of bad for my previous post. I really enjoyed the camp and all of the students, it was actually one of the best job experiences I've ever had and that last post came out after a drawn-out, hour long rant from one of the students' mothers. All of the kids were really funny and I thought it was great to hang out with them, finding out about the games room and the awesome purple chairs - emacs/ game designer people live quite the lavish lifestyle at RPI. I was nervous that going into it, it might be weird being a girl RA for a camp of 17 boys and 3 girls, but the guys were hilarious and good-natured... I guess RPI has its perks at times, drawing in a crowd of mostly nice-guy types. I also found out that one of the other RA's plays hockey and now I'm just can't wait any longer to get back on the ice for game season and rip that goddamn frat's ass - the one who beat us in the championships last year by bringing in two A-league players - bunch of fucking assholes, next time I'll take as many penalties as it takes to lay those pricks out. Maybe I'll even take a hint from Marissa's play book, the whack-a-player-in-the-neck strategy... see where that gets me. Okay, I have to admit hockey gets me a bit riled up, but it's seriously one of the best sports on the planet! Who cares that half of everyone and their mom plays soccer? That sport puts me to sleep, might as well go play cricket with gramma, if you want a real sport, you gota play hockey. Anddd if you're a guy, I'm sorry but you're not really a man until you've played hockey... ahem... Eric... which is why I'm pushing this on you sooo hard.... but for real it's addicting and fun.
Alright, and what else is new in my life? Well I had one of the most intimidating interviews ever at the Pottery Place. I walk in and am led upstairs to a small attic-y, crawl space where there's a table with a huge lamp turned on full-blast over it, three chairs and an old woman who pops up right as I reach the top of the stairs... nothing against these people, they were very nice, just very frightening to interview with. So we sit down and they each whip out clipboards and packets of paper, turning the first page over in unision... ahhhh scarrrryyy... doing things in sync. So we begin the interview with surprising, yet not so shocking questions about me about you about everyone we know.... and then all of a sudden it's "okay, now you have to make us something" [.... wtf?] "you have to make us your favorite sandwich step-by-step" so I go about gingerly making a BLT, laugh half way through and have to restart again.... yea, probably not the best impression, but my philosophy on interviews is that you're never seeing the real person, and if you think you're seeing the real person they're just a wierd play kid acting their way into your brain. Okay, so after that was over I thought I was in the clear, I just made an imaginary BLT to two people I don't know under the hottest lamp on the face of the earth... and thennnn they get a little chuckle-look onto their faces and tell me now I have to "sell them something" ... argh, selling = not my best point because it's being fake and trying to wean money out of people, and who knows if theese people have money to be spending? I don't want to force some nice old woman to buy a $50 statue so I can buy coffee, what if she has a dying cousin? Shouldn't the money go to flowers or a hospital visit for him? - see these are the things that go through my mind when I'm trying to be "slimy" and sell something... such a horrible trait we as a species have.
Anddd once again I come out alive, kind of feeling like Rocky on top of some huge set of stairs... and the interview continues. Ah, forgot to mention also - the whole sell something - I tried to sell my wallet - kind of flopped like a dying tuna, but that's okay, at least I wasn't a douche. And so the saga continues... and the rest went pretty well. The one lady laughed at me when she asked what's something only my family would say about me, something that's nit-picky and anal... and yes she said those very words... and I told her that my aunt always says that my sister's the pretty one and I'm the smart one, and she laughed, but it was more of a "I feel bad for you" laugh than a whole-hearted one... yea Christianna thinking before speaking-0, Christianna making a fool out of herself-3. But so we digressed... and the last question I was asked what I thought the job would entail so I went off about the whole being a teacher and showing people how to learn new things right when the enter the door, catering to my strong background in TA'ing and summer teaching... and then I said that I'd feel like a 'guardian' during the down-time, watching over all the crazy hyped-up on painting things kids while the parents meticulously make their final masterpiece. Andd oohhhh lordyyy did something decend upon me for that word, the other lady starts repeating the word "guardian.... guardiann awww, guardian... I like that". phew - at least I ended with a good use of vocabulary.
Alright, kind of don't feel like blogging anymore seeing as my harddrive is so freaking hot its about to burn a hole through my leg, but more updates to come.... yay summer, sooo not ready to go back to RPI/ kindddd of want another four months off...
-c
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
parents of high schoolers
Okay, in case you want to take up a job for high school campers, just be aware - their parents are CRAZY. I don't think it's clear to many of these parents that their children are going to be joining college communities in about a month, and yet they are still calling every day/night, madating bedtimes at ten, concerned for their teenagers walking two hundred feet [in the campus]. I can't tell you how many complaints we all got on the first day about the condition of the dorms, complaints about this that and the other thing, endless amounts of calling... and don't get me wrong, I am completely okay with parents being concerned for their children, being worried and whatnot, but this much control...? [crazy] I mean let's be honest here, when these kids get to college it's not going to be in mom and dad's home anymore and they are going to get away with alot more than they can even at this camp. Sorry, this was a vent that was needed for me, coming from an overprotective family I feel the concern for people in my situation, I was never given the chance to grow and expand, I had to rely on being a introvert, and I still have absolutely no confidence in myself, and it's probably due in part to the fact that I was never able to find out anything about myself until escaping off to college.
In other news, I like being on campus without the scare of architecture and those damn professors lurking around. It's so much more comforting knowing that I'm not being judged for work, how I look, who I am... all just because a group of emotionless people are vacant from Troy... huh. Alright, this is a pretty bitter post, but yesterday was really horrible, one of our campers - specifically one of mine left for home and I got the brunt of the anger from all my superiors which was no fun, especially because the decision was not mine, completely out of my hands, and yet I had to be faced with complaints from all angles. I really have to say that I enjoy being a camp counselor, it's almost something I feel like I should have tried a long time ago, and despite some of the downfalls of this specific camp, I will continue to enjoy my job. But I guess it just goes with the whole tend of 'taking care of people' and how jobs like this are at times the most rewarding - for those people you are helping - and at other times the worst nightmare of your life. I mean the family members of these people really see none of the effort, care, and concern we all have for their children, and yet come armed with more force than the army, ready to attack us for the smallest of issues. Whatever, if you're sitting there thinking I should have seen this coming - trust me, I did, it just sucks to deal.
- c
In other news, I like being on campus without the scare of architecture and those damn professors lurking around. It's so much more comforting knowing that I'm not being judged for work, how I look, who I am... all just because a group of emotionless people are vacant from Troy... huh. Alright, this is a pretty bitter post, but yesterday was really horrible, one of our campers - specifically one of mine left for home and I got the brunt of the anger from all my superiors which was no fun, especially because the decision was not mine, completely out of my hands, and yet I had to be faced with complaints from all angles. I really have to say that I enjoy being a camp counselor, it's almost something I feel like I should have tried a long time ago, and despite some of the downfalls of this specific camp, I will continue to enjoy my job. But I guess it just goes with the whole tend of 'taking care of people' and how jobs like this are at times the most rewarding - for those people you are helping - and at other times the worst nightmare of your life. I mean the family members of these people really see none of the effort, care, and concern we all have for their children, and yet come armed with more force than the army, ready to attack us for the smallest of issues. Whatever, if you're sitting there thinking I should have seen this coming - trust me, I did, it just sucks to deal.
- c
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Some things I'll admit
Even though I am having a huuuuge problem falling in love, or even dealing with my relationship with architecture right now, there are some things I can admit I've fallen to. For instance, take Italy. I have admitted already that I enjoyed the traveling, and I even liked being there - at some times - with those people, of course the beginning parts of the trip being the more fun times with everyone. I admit that I loved the trips, getting up early everyday and walking around all day long, I even loved trying the reallllly scary lifts that would take us to the tops of mountains. But I have to also admit the things that I didn't enjoy so much.... which was of course studio, dealing with the 'architects', designing with partners, not feeling good enough in the end even though Jefferson made me feel like I was doing alright all along. All of those things made that half of the trip seem like a real failure to me. I went to Italy to discover if architecture was the 'thing' for me, to see if the trip would bring me to some deep appreciation and love for the practice.
All it really did was dig me even deeper into this hole I struggle to get out of to this day. I fell in love with the places, the people, the discovery of old architectures along the way. I feel in love with walking and learning about the practices of other people, but I didn't fall in love with me as an architect. I wouldn't have changed my studies there, I could never look back and want to give up walks with Emelio ,or even Blanchard's class. Those were my two favorite parts of the entire trip. But what I could have given up was the feeling of being led-on and lost in the crowd when it came to my 'profession'.
I know america, and architecture, too, are all about building yourself up to be this amazing person, by breaking the rules but being completely loyal all at the same time, it's about you you you and not letting anybody get in your way, and I don't know that it's only architecture that will do that to me. I think a lot of the concerns people have for me right now is that I'll relapse into this way of thinking when I jump into another major, I mean I've built up a three year relationship with all of these people and that can't ever happen again for me... not until I pass on into the professional world. I'll never come upon this group of people again, this combination, this family.
So once again today, I was milling over the things in my mind that come and go like the most annoying mosquitos and I started thinking about how architecture isn't my 'dream job'..... okay. I know it's really rare that somone gets their 'dream job' and the funny thing with me is: I don't think I've ever had a dream job. The closest I've probably ever come was when coach Sara gave me the opporunity to join her racing barn and be a warm-up jockey with her at Saratoga for the summer. She hadn't offered any one of her students that job, and I didn't even take lessons with her. In fact, a lot of the people I trained with, she really didn't like, but a lot of my barn friends were in her lessons and I know they were putting in a good word for me. I was good at something back then. I was good at a lot of things. I was doing well in cross country, I would come from running miles and miles to ride and work at the barn until eight at night, and then I would go home and do homework and get A's and enjoy school. I had a real passion for horses, and this warm-up job was just my ticket to a great future. Of course to my mom, it was horses or college, and I was 'smart' [?] enough to take my ticket to college.
But what I wouldn't give to go back and have an opportunity like that, or like the time the barn up north, the crazy mom and her son that I rode with for about a month [because they really were crazy, wayyy to competitive and not that great of teachers], but they did offer me a place on their team to go and show in Florida [where riders get paid a lot of money for doing well in competitions, some prizes being $100,000 for a winning ride] - what I wouldn't give to be earning that in a days' work right now...
Of course I can join the team again, maybe become the president again, maybe do well in shows and be friends with everyone in the barn. That stuff is easy, it is natural to me and I love it, but for some reason that can't be my life. I've chosen to search for something different, something 'sustainable' even though that word makes me want to throw up over every single 'green' hipster person out there.
Okay, but 'dream job' what should that really mean to a person? Are people in architecture really in there because it's their dream career? Was it just a fallback? Was it a calling like horseback was for me? I always hear that people will have their jobs, but that doesn't have to be what they are in love with... but when I see architects, and when I'm in architecture school, I feel like this is something you have to really be strangely, deeply in love with. Why did the professors not weed me out? Why have they kept me dangling by a string this whole time? And why, after they break my heart do they not tell me it's because I don't belong and I should just get out now? Do none of them really believe that? What's good in me? I mean really, I would like some answers!
On another note, I really miss Pienza and want to go back there - like now!
-c
All it really did was dig me even deeper into this hole I struggle to get out of to this day. I fell in love with the places, the people, the discovery of old architectures along the way. I feel in love with walking and learning about the practices of other people, but I didn't fall in love with me as an architect. I wouldn't have changed my studies there, I could never look back and want to give up walks with Emelio ,or even Blanchard's class. Those were my two favorite parts of the entire trip. But what I could have given up was the feeling of being led-on and lost in the crowd when it came to my 'profession'.
I know america, and architecture, too, are all about building yourself up to be this amazing person, by breaking the rules but being completely loyal all at the same time, it's about you you you and not letting anybody get in your way, and I don't know that it's only architecture that will do that to me. I think a lot of the concerns people have for me right now is that I'll relapse into this way of thinking when I jump into another major, I mean I've built up a three year relationship with all of these people and that can't ever happen again for me... not until I pass on into the professional world. I'll never come upon this group of people again, this combination, this family.
So once again today, I was milling over the things in my mind that come and go like the most annoying mosquitos and I started thinking about how architecture isn't my 'dream job'..... okay. I know it's really rare that somone gets their 'dream job' and the funny thing with me is: I don't think I've ever had a dream job. The closest I've probably ever come was when coach Sara gave me the opporunity to join her racing barn and be a warm-up jockey with her at Saratoga for the summer. She hadn't offered any one of her students that job, and I didn't even take lessons with her. In fact, a lot of the people I trained with, she really didn't like, but a lot of my barn friends were in her lessons and I know they were putting in a good word for me. I was good at something back then. I was good at a lot of things. I was doing well in cross country, I would come from running miles and miles to ride and work at the barn until eight at night, and then I would go home and do homework and get A's and enjoy school. I had a real passion for horses, and this warm-up job was just my ticket to a great future. Of course to my mom, it was horses or college, and I was 'smart' [?] enough to take my ticket to college.
But what I wouldn't give to go back and have an opportunity like that, or like the time the barn up north, the crazy mom and her son that I rode with for about a month [because they really were crazy, wayyy to competitive and not that great of teachers], but they did offer me a place on their team to go and show in Florida [where riders get paid a lot of money for doing well in competitions, some prizes being $100,000 for a winning ride] - what I wouldn't give to be earning that in a days' work right now...
Of course I can join the team again, maybe become the president again, maybe do well in shows and be friends with everyone in the barn. That stuff is easy, it is natural to me and I love it, but for some reason that can't be my life. I've chosen to search for something different, something 'sustainable' even though that word makes me want to throw up over every single 'green' hipster person out there.
Okay, but 'dream job' what should that really mean to a person? Are people in architecture really in there because it's their dream career? Was it just a fallback? Was it a calling like horseback was for me? I always hear that people will have their jobs, but that doesn't have to be what they are in love with... but when I see architects, and when I'm in architecture school, I feel like this is something you have to really be strangely, deeply in love with. Why did the professors not weed me out? Why have they kept me dangling by a string this whole time? And why, after they break my heart do they not tell me it's because I don't belong and I should just get out now? Do none of them really believe that? What's good in me? I mean really, I would like some answers!
On another note, I really miss Pienza and want to go back there - like now!
-c
Career Type
type: INFP [aka over emotional, sensitive, takeseverythingtooseriously]
INFP's feel internal turmoil when they find themselves in situations in which there is conflict between their inner code of ethics and their relationships with others. They feel caught between pleasing others and maintaining their own integrity. Their natural tendency to identify with others, compounded with their self-sacrificial dispositions, tends to leave them confused as to who they really are. Their quiet personalities further feeds their feelings of depersonalization. The INFP's quest for self-identity then seems even more alluring — but increasingly impossible to attain.
As with all NFs, the INFP will feel lost and perplexed at stressful times. As stress builds, INFP's become disconnected from their own personality and perceived place in life. They will lose sight of who they are in relation to time and place. They may not make basic observations, while instead they will focus on the more abstract and symbolic meanings of a particular interaction. This can sometimes baffle those who expect more direct communication and a fairly concrete relationship.
SIDENOTE: this is NOT the career type most architects have... according to a couple of the sites I checked, most archies are INTP... sooo instead of 'thinking [T]' when I'm supposed to I 'feel [F]'.... aka cry and breakdown.... awesome.
INFP's feel internal turmoil when they find themselves in situations in which there is conflict between their inner code of ethics and their relationships with others. They feel caught between pleasing others and maintaining their own integrity. Their natural tendency to identify with others, compounded with their self-sacrificial dispositions, tends to leave them confused as to who they really are. Their quiet personalities further feeds their feelings of depersonalization. The INFP's quest for self-identity then seems even more alluring — but increasingly impossible to attain.
As with all NFs, the INFP will feel lost and perplexed at stressful times. As stress builds, INFP's become disconnected from their own personality and perceived place in life. They will lose sight of who they are in relation to time and place. They may not make basic observations, while instead they will focus on the more abstract and symbolic meanings of a particular interaction. This can sometimes baffle those who expect more direct communication and a fairly concrete relationship.
SIDENOTE: this is NOT the career type most architects have... according to a couple of the sites I checked, most archies are INTP... sooo instead of 'thinking [T]' when I'm supposed to I 'feel [F]'.... aka cry and breakdown.... awesome.
Barnes' disease & the 50/50 of Architecture
Just so that you know: Barnes & Nobles is an infectious disease. Just look at all of their logos, their bags splashed with green goop and a poisonous leaf. They have infiltrated the internet, they supply customers with deadly Starbucks coffee syrups and constantly reshelve, with books ready to suck your wallet dry. Why not? Maybe they are like the vampire of the bookstores. Sure Borders has the whole 'red' thing going on, but B & N has this great attractive, draw-you-in and eat you alive thing going on.
Okay, I'm telling you this because I went into B & N today. Yes, I was weak. I went in telling myself to just 'browse' over the magazines. I wanted to find a literary mag because despite the ten library books I have out right now - from two different libraries - andd also despite the new book that just came in the mail, the one I online-ordered about two weeks ago, I still had this fear that I would be book-less in the coming weeks, completely word-less unless I went and bought myself a literary magazine - right away! Unfortunately for that crazy mind's search, B & N had a really sucky selection of literary journals I was looking for something like the Princeton or Harvard Review, but instead they showed up with Iowa, Ohio, and some crazy Mystical Creatures for All Reviews - kind of not the stories I'm looking to unfold. So being my 'good' old out-for-eating-trees-with-my-brain self, I wandered over to the 'writing reference' section and pulled about ten different books from the shelf within... I'd say about 30 seconds - I think I scared a little kid with his Starbucks, because he ran off to his dad. Soo from here you can probably guess how the story goes, I wandered from magazine shelves to writing section and back again, I wandered off to sections I had never even heard of before in search of some excuse to do the inexcusable, I contemplated buying useless Parisian papers just to snake my way out of this situation, but all the while I kept the little book tucked up under my arms like a little pocket-pup.
In defeat I bought, but maybe I should be proud of myself. The book cost less than any of the literary magazines I had looked at and [hopefully] it's a book I can learn from and be inspired by - I tend to find alot of similarities in feelings and processes between what the 'writing help' books say and my life as an architecture student.
- ah - Which brings me to another thing I was considering on my car ride. No one can really label an architect anymore. We used to have definitive 'styles' and label-able tendencies, but nowdays most architects strive for the undefinable image. This doesn't stop me from being able to define the whole profession though, which somehow came to me after I left Brueggers and was driving away from having to admit to an old high school collegue that I am in ... architectureee. Basically I thought that architecture would'nt have been this much of a 'joke' of a profession, but architects are a mashing together of a graphic designer and a lawyer. Work is recognized by first and foremost it's 'prettiness' the colorful or skillful beauty of the documents, versus their practicality or usefulness [aka FLWright], and of course the smashed-in lawyer side. Even if your work isn't the most catching, you can draw people in with your big Ego and strong words - basically a bunch of fluff. What is a half lawyer anyway? Probably a load of bullshit. Which is exactly what the lawyer-side of an architect is. So whether an architect is bullshitting through pretty colors and lines, or if they are bullshitting by telling you their ugly colors and lines are really genius, all-in-all you're being served a big fat plate of lies and slime by someone in clothes that cost more than what you're commissioning them to design. [sorry real-life architects, but this student is quite disillusioned, and definitely not impressed or convinced by what you do]
- c
p.s. Here's the super 'mom' book I got today, but I really do think alot of writer's struggle through the same emotions and feelings as architecture students sooo if you're interested in reading a bunch of stories from really emotionally-charged places then I suggest you go out and get this book, too!
Okay, I'm telling you this because I went into B & N today. Yes, I was weak. I went in telling myself to just 'browse' over the magazines. I wanted to find a literary mag because despite the ten library books I have out right now - from two different libraries - andd also despite the new book that just came in the mail, the one I online-ordered about two weeks ago, I still had this fear that I would be book-less in the coming weeks, completely word-less unless I went and bought myself a literary magazine - right away! Unfortunately for that crazy mind's search, B & N had a really sucky selection of literary journals I was looking for something like the Princeton or Harvard Review, but instead they showed up with Iowa, Ohio, and some crazy Mystical Creatures for All Reviews - kind of not the stories I'm looking to unfold. So being my 'good' old out-for-eating-trees-with-my-brain self, I wandered over to the 'writing reference' section and pulled about ten different books from the shelf within... I'd say about 30 seconds - I think I scared a little kid with his Starbucks, because he ran off to his dad. Soo from here you can probably guess how the story goes, I wandered from magazine shelves to writing section and back again, I wandered off to sections I had never even heard of before in search of some excuse to do the inexcusable, I contemplated buying useless Parisian papers just to snake my way out of this situation, but all the while I kept the little book tucked up under my arms like a little pocket-pup.
In defeat I bought, but maybe I should be proud of myself. The book cost less than any of the literary magazines I had looked at and [hopefully] it's a book I can learn from and be inspired by - I tend to find alot of similarities in feelings and processes between what the 'writing help' books say and my life as an architecture student.
- ah - Which brings me to another thing I was considering on my car ride. No one can really label an architect anymore. We used to have definitive 'styles' and label-able tendencies, but nowdays most architects strive for the undefinable image. This doesn't stop me from being able to define the whole profession though, which somehow came to me after I left Brueggers and was driving away from having to admit to an old high school collegue that I am in ... architectureee. Basically I thought that architecture would'nt have been this much of a 'joke' of a profession, but architects are a mashing together of a graphic designer and a lawyer. Work is recognized by first and foremost it's 'prettiness' the colorful or skillful beauty of the documents, versus their practicality or usefulness [aka FLWright], and of course the smashed-in lawyer side. Even if your work isn't the most catching, you can draw people in with your big Ego and strong words - basically a bunch of fluff. What is a half lawyer anyway? Probably a load of bullshit. Which is exactly what the lawyer-side of an architect is. So whether an architect is bullshitting through pretty colors and lines, or if they are bullshitting by telling you their ugly colors and lines are really genius, all-in-all you're being served a big fat plate of lies and slime by someone in clothes that cost more than what you're commissioning them to design. [sorry real-life architects, but this student is quite disillusioned, and definitely not impressed or convinced by what you do]
- c
p.s. Here's the super 'mom' book I got today, but I really do think alot of writer's struggle through the same emotions and feelings as architecture students sooo if you're interested in reading a bunch of stories from really emotionally-charged places then I suggest you go out and get this book, too!
Escape, please.
Okayy okayy okayyyyy, I neeed to get out of the house really bad but it's so hard to tell myself its okay to leave to go buy coffee, again, as always. I've been trying hard to save money lately, especially saving what's still in the bank, but there's just something in me that prevents me from staying in the same place. I want to go out, get my coffee and maybe shop around for books? hahah okayyy... nooo can't do that either, I need to stay focused: get coffee, come back.
[ughhhh] Soooo difficult to come back to this house over and over again. Getting away to Eric's is a breath of fresh air, I mean if I was at his place right now, I'd either be sitting in Common Grounds reading and writing and drawing - orrr - off at Mowhawk Pond swimming my brains out. But... what is there to do in good ol' Cohoes? Well there are more than enough temptations to buy 'things', there's the escape to get coffee and buy books, there the stacks of magazines calling my name at Barnes and Nobles... there are clothes shouting to me from within the mall.... all of these wonderful consumer objects pulling me in, ready to eat me alive.
Oh rural, oh farmville Connecticut, how beautiful you are for being commercial-less and fully detached from all humanity.
-c
[ughhhh] Soooo difficult to come back to this house over and over again. Getting away to Eric's is a breath of fresh air, I mean if I was at his place right now, I'd either be sitting in Common Grounds reading and writing and drawing - orrr - off at Mowhawk Pond swimming my brains out. But... what is there to do in good ol' Cohoes? Well there are more than enough temptations to buy 'things', there's the escape to get coffee and buy books, there the stacks of magazines calling my name at Barnes and Nobles... there are clothes shouting to me from within the mall.... all of these wonderful consumer objects pulling me in, ready to eat me alive.
Oh rural, oh farmville Connecticut, how beautiful you are for being commercial-less and fully detached from all humanity.
-c
Thursday, July 1, 2010
current readings for july
I had a handfull of good books that I read in June.... and what better way to start of july, than with another set of great reading?!?! yayayayy!!! Hahahaha... thankfully this time the books are all borrowed, not bought sooo my bankaccount isn't crying and Mint.com isn't out to get me.
a great website:
< http://www.useful-information.info/quotations/library_quotes.html >
another really good website [this one is of italyyy!!!]
< http://www.galenfrysinger.com/vicenza.htm >
ooooookay, haha that's it for now. also, the last two books aren't really reading books, they're kind of picture books haha, but interesting nonetheless.
-c
a great website:
< http://www.useful-information.info/quotations/library_quotes.html >
another really good website [this one is of italyyy!!!]
< http://www.galenfrysinger.com/vicenza.htm >
ooooookay, haha that's it for now. also, the last two books aren't really reading books, they're kind of picture books haha, but interesting nonetheless.
-c
my future home [as i dreamed of it today]
Recently, Mary Ann was asking me what I want to live in when I'm older... andd as far as I can tell now [mind you my mind changes directions every 1/16th of a second...] these few images from a CA architecture firm really inspired me. Ah, but what I told Mary Ann was that I want to live in an apartment or small house... nothing big and egotistical for me, I would rather have something small and cozy, but full of life in every detail [I guess it would also make for easy, cost-effective changes to be made at my whim].
Here are some of the 'inspiring' images [although they belong to houses that are altogether tooo big for me]:
[this one reminds me of my grandparents lake house... only 400x bigger]
-c
Here are some of the 'inspiring' images [although they belong to houses that are altogether tooo big for me]:
[this one reminds me of my grandparents lake house... only 400x bigger]
-c
a Real Architecture
found this on a nyc fashion-blogger's site... i think it shows a very realistic portrait of what architecture is.
[at least it's what architecture is for me... for now.... and maybe some other of us designers, too]
[at least it's what architecture is for me... for now.... and maybe some other of us designers, too]
-c
Venice and the White, Feathery-Legged Spider
So today I've been thinking some about dreams. This is a very interesting topic to me because of how much people typically refuse to take it seriously. I mean we 'all have dreams' and yet dream interpreters/ interpretations are so often seen as fo-pah [yea don't know how to spell that]. Even the people who should be the most concerned and intrigued by this subject seem to have some sort of fear of it, and as a result don't put any effort into its understanding - these people being scientists for the most part. Sure there are small speculations on the subject, but these usually just dismiss it because of how little we know about the brain. Even so, philosophers and scientists, as far as I have known to envision them have always tried to dream and speculate far beyond their current times/ the limitations of thought and technologies in the present, but it doesn't seem like many philosophers and scientists are really rallying up about far-reaching ideas today, at least not in the study of dreams. I can't say that I've read that much about them either, for my final essay in philosophy dreams were a consideration for the topic, but it's so easily put down in conjuction with Descartes-like thinking. And at least for me - espeically if you really know me - you probably know about all the crazy dreams I have and almost always remember. Which I guess leads me to want to start 'recording' them or writing them down in some ways... although I am scared that if I start writing the dreams will go away.
One really interesting dream I had recently, maybe a couple of weeks ago was pretty amazing. [hopefully I can remember it all - if not there are a few key points - from my perspective] So it starts out that I am back in Venice, I think with the archie group that I traveled there with... and personally I have always wished there was some way to scuba-dive through all of those pilasters that hold up the entire city. I've always thought it would be amazing to see the hundreds-of-years old, underthesurface workings that are holding up this city built over beaches and water. And somehow in my dream... I ended up swimming in one of the channels. I was swimming with someone or two other people and it didn't seem like we were really struggling, but I also don't think we were necessarily in the water because we wanted to be there... there was some sort of mission going on. The swimming started out really easy, and then as we seemed to be approaching a small 'bay' area the current got really strong. I feel like I was helping my friends get forward, but I also remember not going anywhere for a while and not being able to enter the bay, being caught-up in the strong current in the channel. [Also, don't know why, but I wasn't completely disgusted by being in the waters of Venice... anddd the water was reallly reallllyyy green in this dream, and reallly deeep]. So I don't remember how the swim was resolved, but at some point we were back on dry surfaces above the water. For some reason [ and this is not possible in real-life ] but to the side of the bay we were trying to swim to, there was a drop-off of land that led down to a house situated on more water [to the left the way i was standing, and the bay on my right] to get to the house there was a mud-slide of land and some trees on the hill... and I have no idea thinking back on this dream how there could have been the bay at my feet to the right and this house about twenty feet below me to my left [it must have been some natural dam or something... not in Venice at all]... but anyway. Also, interesting and not in accordance with real-life was the 'deck' structure I was walking on... and that led forward throughout the side of the channel that I was on. So typically in Venice the facades/ structures delve right into the water, the little waves lapping up against stucco and stone walls, but in my dream there was a very short 'deck' passageway/ wooden level that was right along the channel and the structures were above.
For some reason at this point in my dream, it occured to me that I was very sick and needed to go to see a doctor. So me and my two friends [who I can't remember who from Italy they were...] began walking through this short deck-layer... with the ceiling above us at probably only a little over five-feet in height... so we were ducking... andd there were alot of ups and downs along the deck passageway... which I have no idea how the 'downs' weren't flooded with water... they were dry at all levels. So as we are walking forward, we see a turn in the deck passageway, through a field of wooden posts and flooring a matching wooden desk ahead to the right. Sitting there is an almost psychic hand-reader-type woman who apparently is the 'doctor' here in 'my Venice'. There are some chairs in front of her desk with 'people?' sitting... they really had no personality or features... so maybe I only had the sensation of people being there... but anyways she tells me that my only cure is to find among the docks a some sort of white, feathery spider and that I have to catch it. [....?]
So I guess at this point I go off on my own looking for this cure, and not too far from the health desk, I see a really beautiful white spider with pretty much feathers for legs that somehow floats from above me [from the left] and lands down onto my right thigh... and embeds itself in my leg. [and for some reason now I am not freaking out and hysterical - that a beautiful spider just embedded itself in my leg... in some strange Venice-world]... and sooo kind of gross... but when I look down at my thigh I can see the body of the spider in my leg, but its eyes and facial features have turned into blood spots on my leg [like what you might get from scratching a bug-bite too much, small and harmless... but altogether in this case - very strange].
And I believe that's how this dream ended... but it was very interesting and very real. If I can think of some more I'll write them, too, but this is all I have for now... I kind of wish the rest of this dream could unfold again... it was really amazing to be back in Venice.
-c
One really interesting dream I had recently, maybe a couple of weeks ago was pretty amazing. [hopefully I can remember it all - if not there are a few key points - from my perspective] So it starts out that I am back in Venice, I think with the archie group that I traveled there with... and personally I have always wished there was some way to scuba-dive through all of those pilasters that hold up the entire city. I've always thought it would be amazing to see the hundreds-of-years old, underthesurface workings that are holding up this city built over beaches and water. And somehow in my dream... I ended up swimming in one of the channels. I was swimming with someone or two other people and it didn't seem like we were really struggling, but I also don't think we were necessarily in the water because we wanted to be there... there was some sort of mission going on. The swimming started out really easy, and then as we seemed to be approaching a small 'bay' area the current got really strong. I feel like I was helping my friends get forward, but I also remember not going anywhere for a while and not being able to enter the bay, being caught-up in the strong current in the channel. [Also, don't know why, but I wasn't completely disgusted by being in the waters of Venice... anddd the water was reallly reallllyyy green in this dream, and reallly deeep]. So I don't remember how the swim was resolved, but at some point we were back on dry surfaces above the water. For some reason [ and this is not possible in real-life ] but to the side of the bay we were trying to swim to, there was a drop-off of land that led down to a house situated on more water [to the left the way i was standing, and the bay on my right] to get to the house there was a mud-slide of land and some trees on the hill... and I have no idea thinking back on this dream how there could have been the bay at my feet to the right and this house about twenty feet below me to my left [it must have been some natural dam or something... not in Venice at all]... but anyway. Also, interesting and not in accordance with real-life was the 'deck' structure I was walking on... and that led forward throughout the side of the channel that I was on. So typically in Venice the facades/ structures delve right into the water, the little waves lapping up against stucco and stone walls, but in my dream there was a very short 'deck' passageway/ wooden level that was right along the channel and the structures were above.
For some reason at this point in my dream, it occured to me that I was very sick and needed to go to see a doctor. So me and my two friends [who I can't remember who from Italy they were...] began walking through this short deck-layer... with the ceiling above us at probably only a little over five-feet in height... so we were ducking... andd there were alot of ups and downs along the deck passageway... which I have no idea how the 'downs' weren't flooded with water... they were dry at all levels. So as we are walking forward, we see a turn in the deck passageway, through a field of wooden posts and flooring a matching wooden desk ahead to the right. Sitting there is an almost psychic hand-reader-type woman who apparently is the 'doctor' here in 'my Venice'. There are some chairs in front of her desk with 'people?' sitting... they really had no personality or features... so maybe I only had the sensation of people being there... but anyways she tells me that my only cure is to find among the docks a some sort of white, feathery spider and that I have to catch it. [....?]
So I guess at this point I go off on my own looking for this cure, and not too far from the health desk, I see a really beautiful white spider with pretty much feathers for legs that somehow floats from above me [from the left] and lands down onto my right thigh... and embeds itself in my leg. [and for some reason now I am not freaking out and hysterical - that a beautiful spider just embedded itself in my leg... in some strange Venice-world]... and sooo kind of gross... but when I look down at my thigh I can see the body of the spider in my leg, but its eyes and facial features have turned into blood spots on my leg [like what you might get from scratching a bug-bite too much, small and harmless... but altogether in this case - very strange].
And I believe that's how this dream ended... but it was very interesting and very real. If I can think of some more I'll write them, too, but this is all I have for now... I kind of wish the rest of this dream could unfold again... it was really amazing to be back in Venice.
-c
Seriously Blogging
I've recently been "blogging" if that is also the appropriate term for reading other peoples' blogs... and realize how freakin serious some people are. There are all these crazy life lessons with descriptions of the window curtains they are sitting by, all talking about how they cried last night and now today they saved a beluga whale. I mean c'mon?!?! These 'bloggers' were around my age, too, I basically just found them by surfing with boredom through facebook and it really makes me laugh kind of ? haha that's probably really bad to say, but.... yea.
-I wrote this a couple days ago but didn't want to pass up including it... i have nothing more to add for the time being, but just thought that it was a good emotionally-filled sidenote to include.
-c
-I wrote this a couple days ago but didn't want to pass up including it... i have nothing more to add for the time being, but just thought that it was a good emotionally-filled sidenote to include.
-c
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