After my meeting with Tamar, it's like my compass has become realigned. Besides wanting to be just like her, I realize that I like myself better around her, and I also like myself better when I'm doing this research I care so much about. I guess that's why I need to not let Julia get to me. My work and my passion for it is much bigger than her and [coincidentally] BIG. I think some things that I will need to change about myself - my post-Eric self, are coming a bit more clear. I think I need to step back and stop relying on people so much, but maybe be the one that other people rely upon. [I think that might end up helping me with relationships down the line as well...] Also, I need to stop talking things up so much and get things done. Today, after asking Tamar to do an independent study I realize that her phD students are more important to her, and she is much busier with them than she is with me. If I really want her attention, I need to start being the one bringing tons of things to the table and I need to be doing 10x as much work as her - if not more. Of course she'll always correct the silly things I do, but that's because she has thirty or forty years of experience beyond me. So I guess the two goals I am learning from today are to be quiet and work harder, and to not nag on people for attention, but let them come to me... thiiis will be a big change.
Cb
Cb
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