This semester is just depressing... I completely dispise the favoritism and sucking-up to professors that goes on here... it's really not at all about "your work" its all about YOU. I guess this sounds like it should be a good scenario, but when people's fakeness is as blatant as it can be I don't understand why that sort of behaviour flys. I also don't like being as bitter as I have been, but I honestly don't think I am as ignorant as alot of people take me to be/ act towards me like I'm dumber than a rock. It's just "not fair" isn't really an argument I'm going for either... but the way things work here, doesn't make sense to me anymore. I'm not going to struggle through a school full of arguing, competing assholes where I can't find my place. I have so much curiosity and wonder and desire to explore things without certain people ramming my head into the ground for being so extravegant. I think another problem is that I have a strange way of putting things that instead of trying to understand, people just throw me and my ideas out for it. I think that with all the "open-mindedness" that people claim to have heere that wouldn't be an issue... but it most certainly is. Some of the people who claim to be the most open-minded are the most closed-minded judgemental people that I know. bitter bitter bitter... I'm not sure what will make this situation better but I'm definitely not growing much as an intellectual person anymore and that is scaring me. I think there is a sort of "front" about growing intellectually here but sometimes when I look around great intellect... isn't exactly what I see. Yea I will probably regreat writing this later, but in light of recent events it's kind of what I feel.
-c
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