I am currently in a state of unavoidable change. I'd have to say I've gotten myself in so far by this point that there's no turning back and only a choice to be made. And while this is all very vague, I'll just come out and say: it's dealing with my possibility of changing majors. I think its obvious that I have an affinity for architecture, but I'm scared that my graduation date is so close and I still haven't found my "niche". It's definitely not in architecture itself - I've already decided I'm not going to apply for my license... but maybe somewhere related? Through discussions with some people here in school I realise my multiplicity of interests is not going to be fulfilled by staying on a single-track in architecture... it's kind of like what my dad pointed out when he had hoped for me to go to NYU where I would have built my own degree [i wish i had listened to him back then]. This puts me in a really difficult situation for a couple of reasons: 1- I'm going into my 4th year of study and have built up a tonnn of credit here that I would not want to lose through the change 2- I have a strong connection with architecture and design that personally I can't afford to lose and 3- my options for combining architecture design & another subject area are extremely limited here at RPI. I had a great discussion about the Building Science program that used to be an interdisciplinary approach to architectural design that for some reason [probably related to the "poor" economic drain that rpi is in right now..... bullshit] they got rid of it. This leaves me in the position to quite literally have to create my own major that will be a viable title in the 'real world'. I'm also a bit scared about what will happen to my connections with people in architecture... because I have heard from previous changes that the reactions can be quite inhumane [and quite frankly narrow-minded, pompous, bitchy, conflicting, selfish, and alltogether hypocrytical]. Anyway... this decision is alllllsoooo made harder by the fact that I think DD would be a studio I would really succeed in... since Enclosures is my favorite class this year I feel like my choices in DD would also be positive and forward.
So I guess there needs to come a point where I begin to discuss my interests? Talking with Oatman I think it's safe to say my interests are varied and tend to change... for now I am extremely interested in historic preservation/restoration [I have an obsession with "time"] anddd acoustics [which is also deeply concerned with "time" as well as "space".... 2 things that have kept my attention since I was in hs and wanted to become a physics major]. I think these two interests in accordance with architecture... would lead to a fundamentally intriguing thesis [which in my mind is the "main goal" here....] but how to get to that point is really a blind-spot for me right now. If I stay-it-out in architecture... I will realistically not have time to explore all my options.... the schedule is much too rigid and fixed... if I branch out and horribly serious consequences occur I'll be left stranded, gasping for air as everyone who was a good child goes on and walks off with their hard-earned Architecture degree in hand. I guess I also understand that I have a "good thing" going as far as my interests are concerned... but I'm fearful of my ability to intelligently and clearly express myself, anddd I'm also scared of my often easily pushed-over personality where I can easily "settle" instead of argue or confront things/people/ideas. Needless to say I'd need to have strong back-up when it comes to this whole ordeal.
I guess this message was just to get it out there... not really thinking anyone is going to read this... at least not anytime soon because I kind of suck at updating it anyway... but yea. Thoughts and fears are out...
-c
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