ahhh whyyy

I cannot wait until it's the weekend! I don't think people could get more annoying at this point. From being shitty and just plain stupid, I need a break. Also, need to start focusing on GRE's and grad school applications. The Tuesday and Friday drunkenness isn't helping too much. It's sad that I don't have any new projects to boast about - besides a few new earrings - but no drawings, no writing, no architecture, or pictures. This needs to change. I was having such a good time this summer I've hardly even been reading - or buying books compulsively. It's absolutely amazing! But now the reality is going to set-in that people just get old after a while. I guess I never thought it would come about this soon in the summer, but yea. I hardly have anything interesting to write about now. I could say that my Footsie Fridays and Trivia Tuesdays are awesome, but now they are stained with people walking out on me. w/e I hate complaining about things or being down - this will just give me the fuel to work on projects.

Also can't wait to hear about puppy. It just occurred to me that there might be a problem if she is put up for adoption in a week - which will probably be the case - just to make my life a little more confusing... but how else would an archie have it? If I adopt her sometime around next weekend, it'll be soooo difficult and confusing for her. That's when my job at the summer camp starts and I have to start living in Quad then. I was reading online that new dogs get used to their homes in 2 - 4 weeks, but from 7 - 6 I'll only be able to see her for about an hour and then the question is where to keep her? I can bring her to stay with me in Quad, and keep it secret and then keep her in the house during the week... even though Greg is totally against her and that makes me nervous keeping her in the house, especially with how odd he's been acting recently. I'm not putting my baby in danger. Another option is to just keep her in Quad and hoope, hope, hope noone finds out... and thennn move her into the house after the camp... and then hope, hope, hope it's okay for her to move that much. Ahhh, this sucks so much.

I guess I had this all coming to me after having such a great couple semesters... I just really hope this isn't a foreshadowing for thesis.

- c

summer summer

Stopped by the humane society again yesterday to see Bella. I filled out the adoption form, and the girl behind the desk said I am the only one interested in her thus far. It makes me so nervous and excited to have her in my life. I'm mostly nervous about what the volunteers will drill me about, my lifestyle, my habits... my insecurities. My parents have trained me well to crack with the smallest bit of resistance. I'm a horrible liar, and very easily swayed.

This summer has slowly taken a turn for the worse... yet again. It seems like I can't go more than a week without something going wrong. Things were great - ahh and now after introducing people to each other I end up as the odd one out. I don't know why this always seems to happen to me. As far back as I can remember, I'm the friendly, forward person I meet people quickly and easily and I love introducing new friends to the old. It just seems like every time I do this, my friends get really close and then I'm left looking for new people again. It makes me so happy that my friends always come together very quickly, but I hate feeling like the one who has become distant. ughhh This is yet another reason a pup would be so great, for those times when my friends desert me, there'll be someone around to hang out with.

- c 

puppies and gre's

Still waiting on news about Bella from the shelter, I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, but I want to help her get back to good health. I feel like this pup and I could really help each other. There was an extremely cute black chiuaua mix with the biggest eyes, but deep down in my heart I know he's not strong enough to live in my lifestyle. Bella is hearty though - she's got some punch despite having worms in her heart. She's very protective, but I'm hoping she could learn from my personality and my big group of friends and family, to be more open and friendly. It makes me nervous to think about the costs of having a dog, but I also think she'll make my life more structured and meaningful. I think I'd be more money-conscious knowing I have to feed someone else, and more focused in school knowing that someone is waiting for me to get home. I think one major limiting factor in getting Bella would be if I don't get into grad school, it would be difficult finding a reason to leave her and go abroad with the Peace Corps, or to a firm in Slovenia.

All I keep doing is refreshing the humane society's website. The girl at the front counter seemed so happy that I was interested in this puppy, she told me that when she's up on the website she'll be ready for adoption... but maybe she's not there because she still needs treatment for her heartworms. I just hope it doesn't mean someone's already taken her.

- c

oh, also she looks like this:

 and the black one looks like this:

No lies, they are this adorable. 

dreaming of new york?

Looking back on past entries, I realise I've had this "linguistics" dream going for a while now. I think it sprang up sometime last summer, but has been more in-focus since winter time... this is a good sign. I think my fears now aren't so much that I would suffer in the field of study - I think I would actually do just fine, even at Harvard. My fears are more that I would lose touch with anything creative, and that I might lag behind in the learning two languages part. I am excited, and very willing/ wanting to learn languages, it's actually something that has attracted me to the field of linguistics, but since I haven't had the best experience with languages at RPI, it makes me nervous that I would be diving into something over my head - which I guess the grad schools would make me aware of upon my visits to them. I'm actually starting to think more and more that NYU is the better choice of the two schools. I think they would provide me with the best environment to engage in this type of study, while also being open to me keeping up my interests in the arts. I'm not positive, but I feel like Harvard is looking for more of a purist in the field, someone completely dedicated to linguistics, with minimal interests outside its realm. (another facet I like about NYU is that - as far as I know - they look at the whole package, without judging stupid standardized test scores as an important decision per each applicant) Not to mention all of my friends are super-supportive of NYU, because they all plan on moving to the city after graduation... that would help me out in the roommate department, and the having-friends part. It would be like a dream to move to the city and have all my high school and college friends there to see whenever possible. Ahh - my dreams - always greater... or at least different from reality.

- c 

productive summer...

So summer update time - how much have I really done?

Well, I think the last time I studied for the GRE's was two weekends ago... haha and back then I thought I was getting through the book too fast. Oh - trust me - I can find a hundred distractions and more. Namely, re-watching Glee episodes 3 - 5 times, plowing through Greek seasons 1, and now 2. Planned drinking every Tuesday and Friday, with smaller in-house wine parties and random occasions. Watching Rocky and Bullwinkle... another drunken pastime. Hmm, what else? Failing at cooking, small attempts at "working out", reading every few days. I am the perfect Grad-school applicant I'm sure they'll appreciate my summer pastimes, just as I have. Oh, and we can't forget flooding my Grooveshark playlist with Glee cast music, Catch 22, and Less Than Jake... dear old Harvard oh don't you love me?

Facebook is now just taunting me with everyone traveling and soaking up all my dreams. Somehow all I think about is escaping the Albany, and yet I tend to be the one stuck here. My dreams of Grad school now perfectly coincide with my dreams of being a globetrotter, so much so that even if I'm not accepted into grad school I will be promptly joining the Peace Corps to prove my undying need to run about this earth. I find that I only dream now when I think about "going somewhere", I tend to only be inspired by the prospects of being among new company, new thoughts, ideas... I think this may be a generational thing. (or maybe just an after-graduation thing) So maybe another summer plan can be writing about which places I could be the most helpful to, and in turn which places I think could teach me the most. This would be helpful for grad school conversations and maybe helping ground me a bit more? Of course I would be the most amazing plant on the planet, I can be grounded for a couple months, be carried off in the wind and replanted elsewhere - perfectly fine and altogether the same. Yea, that was definitely a comment made to be spoken, but I think it works here, too... just use your brain.

Anyways, besides missing the freedom of wandering around Italy, and my infancy of understanding the pleasures of travel, I need to figure out what to do with my current stationary situation. Seeing as Elliot and Jillian will always get what they want for being birthed from a Professor/ other things... I will not be traveling anywhere with the Brown's Fellows grant. I was so nervous and excited about that trip. Nervous with the idea of going deep into Tibetan China by myself, but so excited to see the Mosu and Lake Lugu and to make a point about female architects. I guess the RPI school of architecture still isn't ready for a strong female (it kind of shows), so it'll be their loss when I make a point of it to express these interests myself. Maybe I'll include a thanks for DBell and Demetrios for being so supportive, but the rest of those insolent assholes can just suffer in their manly, bad-architectural misery.... aka one of them who is infamous for causing so much trouble to his students... but I won't continue with this rage. Tonight is Footsie Fridays! I have to prepare myself for my first night drinking a 40, and traveling downtown to my wine-joint and favorite bar. Tomorrow will be a day of many stories.

- c 

summer 2011

Some of my new summer plans:

- visit Harvard
- visit NYU
- eat at the CIA
- see Montreal
- concerts: Reel Big Fish, Kings of Leon + Band of Horses
- go to the beach
- take GRE's
- begin grad school app's
- try coffee at the Daily Grind
- win Union Pub trivia - Team Coffee
- Footsie Fridays
- projects: clay sculptures, earrings, some archie project, sketching, build a bike?, plant a garden
- horseback riding?

I think that's all for now. Some of the regular stuff will still persist... like Mocha Blend weekends and Prof Javas outings. And some things are still maybes, like taking up horseback riding again (it's just so expensive) and the "projects" catagory is always iffy... depends on my motivation.

- c

more language books

Through the Language Glass: Why the World Looks Different in Other Languages, by Guy Deustcher:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/080508195X/ref=s9_simh_gw_p14_d0_i2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-2&pf_rd_r=1DQFAM6M1QPEH50ARQ31&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=470938631&pf_rd_i=507846

Peace Corps

Ever since high school I have wanted to join the Peace Corps. I remember my first meeting with DBell - when I showed him my portfolio, and telling him it was my goal to join the Peace Corps after graduation. Now I'm thinking about it again. It would be the perfect transition, and maybe give me some time to really figure out what I want to do with my life. It would be two years in a foreign country... most likely teaching... exactly what I would be going to grad school for. Maybe going away would also give me time to learn another language, better preparing me for Linguistics - if that is my true calling. Really my only hesitation is the safety aspect, especially after hearing of all the rapes that women were coming out about recently, when working with the Peace Corps.

http://www.peacecorps.gov/

Ahhh, I need to figure these things out soon!

- c

Brazilian architectureee

where to travel?

Work has been pretty slow, leaving me to daydream about where I want to travel next. I've had a recent obsession with Spanish architecture and now I'm finding Brazilian architecture is also very credible, leading these two places to be of utmost importance to me. But I still miss Italy like crazy. The trouble with going back to Italy, is how could I choose where to go back to? I would miss Venice and the north during the summer time, but only want to be in Rome and the southern coasts during the fall and winter. I couldn't miss Piazza Navona during Christmastime. And then there are places like China and Tibet that are so distant and curious, how could I pass up a trip on such unique places? Or what about Poland, Norway, Finland? I could see Magda and also learn about the intricacies of Slavic architecture, another soft spot in my finicky archie heart. Maybe a good way to narrow things down would be to choose places that I would also want to learn the language? In which case, I already know Spanish and some Italian. I would love to learn Tibetan languages, and Finnish would be great as well. I think, for the most part, all signs point towards Spain. But me, being me, will always feel like I'm giving up on some better option that might be out there.

As for school... my second favorite topic to daydream about, grad school has been on my mind but not showing through with my heart. I think I'm still divided about architecture. There are days when I love it, and I want to prove myself in it and then there are days when I hate it and wish I hadn't gotten myself involved in this subject. I'll have to have another meeting with DBell, but I am interested in Linguistics as my master's program. This way, I could learn something that dips into both philosophy and anthropology, something that interests me as a topic in itself, and is a subject that I could learn a couple languages in, maybe making myself more marketable to firms in the long run. It would also have great potential to help me become more mobile, I could become a translator or traveling guide in another country. All of these things feel like positives to me.

So what's holding me back? Haha. Well, when trying to convey to my mom that I want to go to grad school [something she usually is asking me about] she was disappointed that I didn't want to continue in architecture. But what's the point of having my master's in architecture? I've watched the masters students at RPI... they learn the same exact things that we do in the undergrad program, they just have many more benefits and resources than we do. But they go through the same classes, the same studios... why spend more years just doing these things that I am on the fence about? Ahh, I really wish DBell were around right now, I could use his cut and dry decision-making at this time!

- c